June 2011
25 posts
Ten Notes Toward Grieving My Mother, No. 8
Sadie picks up a tall glass candle that the funeral home has made and brought to the house for us. It is one of those fat white cylindrical candles that one usually finds emblazoned with the radiating image of some religious figure and sitting on the low back shelves of corner bodegas in large cities. This candle, however, instead of depicting the Virgin Mary or some other saint is wrapped in an...
May 2011
46 posts
Ten Notes Toward Grieving My Mother, No. 9
After picking up my daughter at school I walk up the hill toward my parents’ house with one of my best friends from childhood and our respective children. I eat lunch and dinner with my dad. A neighbor stops in. After dinner I put my children to bed and then Dad and I watch the news and then he goes to bed and I watch more news. I’ve not spent this sort of constant time with these people, or with...
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It was three o’clock in the morning. The engine of the old Chevrolet hummed along happily, dreaming itself a Packard in the illusion an old motor experiences in the cool hours of the night. Selma’s head was on Ronald Baumgartner’s shoulder and she was mistily conscious of the charm of the moonless July night, the sweet odors of the Iowa harvest field heavy in the nostrils now...
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Ten Notes Toward Grieving My Mother, No. 10
When your mother dies it feels as though the entire encyclopedia of your life has been disappeared. Most of what I did or thought in the days and weeks before she died, I cannot remember. All of those un-adjectives for what might be called collectively loose ends—untethered, unmoored, unable, unactable, untied, unaffectionate, unaccountable, unhappy—apply.
A very emotionally perceptive friend...
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July 1986
1905 Hart Dodge City, KY, 67501
Dear Mr. Lundy: I have your letter of June 24, 1986, regarding our crew of B24-D that was shot down over Germany on February 22, 1944. Due to heavy damage to the plane, we were forced to bail out. We landed near Wessel, Germany. We were all accounted for and uninjured except for our bombardier, Lt. Harold Z. Flaugh of Winterset, Iowa. No trace was ever...
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Dr. Earl "Mitch" Mitchell
Earl Nelson “Mitch” Mitchell, 84, was called to his heavenly home on May 1, 2011. “Mitch” was born in Centerville, Iowa on August 30, 1926, to Earl and Nina Mitchell. After attending high school there, he entered the United States Navy, completing the Radio Technology program. He received both a B.A. and a M.S. in Physics from the University of Iowa, and continued his...
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The Oncoming End of the World →
Why not? The part about enduring “months of plagues, quakes, wars, famine and general torment” seems about right. As I keep saying, the accumulated events of the last two months—locally and globally—certainly make me feel like the earth is off its damn axis.
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Notes From Here, No. 1
When your mother dies all sorts of things you know about yourself (like what she gave you for your last birthday), as well as countless things you think you thought you sort of knew about yourself (like whether you took that trip in the 8th or 9th grade), and things you don’t even know you don’t know about yourself (like why your house has always had a mailbox in the shape of a big red...
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Ithaka
As you set out for Ithaka hope the voyage is a long one, full of adventure, full of discovery. Laistrygonians and Cyclops, angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them: you’ll never find things like that on your way as long as you keep your thoughts raised high, as long as a rare excitement stirs your spirit and your body. Laistrygonians and Cyclops, wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them ...
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Patrick's Remarks from My Mother's Service
Super Rev said it best, “Words are inadequate to describe a person like Linda,” but I am going to try anyway.
Linda was a number of things to me; mother-in-law, friend, bridge partner, and a target of my teasing.
Linda had a great sense of humor. I realized this when I was trying to come up with something to say about her and Sadie reminded me I should mention how she would laugh...
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"Like health itself, the loss of such a thing...
“Unspoken Truths” / Christopher Hitchens / Vanity Fair / June 2011
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker, And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, And in short, I was afraid. —T. S. Eliot, “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.”
Like so many of life’s varieties of experience, the novelty of a diagnosis of malignant cancer has a tendency to wear off....
“Only mortal beings experience time as a shaping medium, which means that only mortal beings write, or need to write, sentences. Mortality is the condition of being able to die, regarded by many as a curse, but more properly appreciated as a gift, the gift of design and choice, of gain and loss, of hope and desperation, of failure and redemption, all modes of being that are available only to...
THE RAIN is raining all around,
It falls on field and tree,
It rains on the umbrellas here,
And on the ships at sea.
“Rain” / Robert Louis Stevenson / from “A Child’s Garden of Verses and Underwoods” / selected and read by Sadie at my mother’s funeral service / April 28, 2011
Order of Service
IN MEMORIAM / LINDA COE HALSEY
24 August 1941 / 24 April 2011
First Presbyterian Church / Mt. Vernon, Iowa / 28 April 2011
PRELUDE
CALL TO WORSHIP
L: Our help is in the name of the Lord,
P: who made heaven and earth.
L: God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
P: Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change,
though the mountains shake in...
Jeff's Memorial for My Mom
What I am going to say today takes the form of a letter to Linda because I refuse to believe that she is not here with us, and because Linda always appreciated it when people were direct. So, here goes:
Dear Linda,
The truth is, you could be somewhat demanding. On this point, many who knew you would agree.
The lesser-known truth is that you used to worry about asking people to do too much....
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Gail's Remarks from Mother's Service →
Things I Learned From My Mother • A thank you note is never a bad idea. • Holidays are special—the traditions and memories you create are what make them special. • If all else fails, Aunt Nina would say, “Fudge it.” • Be a mother—even to other people’s children. • Encourage your child in all endeavors. • Choose a few close friendships—but be friendly with many people. • Family...
